why did i spent my whole life promising i would never be addicted to anything?i have always been addicted to something.i’ve always been scared of coughing up smoke.i’ve always been scared of throwing up stomach acid.i’ve always been scared of giving up people.there’s lots of kinds of drugs.one time we sat and talked about what drugs we were.you said i was patchouli.you can’t be addicted to patchouli you asshole.you can’t be addicted to me maybe.i am not addicting maybe.i am something you use and forget maybe.i am something you use and sometimes the scent lingers where you don’t want it maybe.i’ve tried to figure it out.are you an upper?a depressant?a psychedelic?you think you’re caffeine.you have to be something stronger because i can’t stop this.you have to be something stronger because these are deadly withdrawals.but everyone’s addicted to caffeine, right?i’m just like everyone else right?i hate this because you’re that kind of love.you’re a coffee kind of love.you’re an everyone kind of love.you’re the kind of love that everyone thinks they have.i can’t tell if this is what everyone has had before.i like to think i discovered this kind of love, you know?i promised i would never be like this, you know?i promised that i have better things to do than this, you know?i promised i was better than this, you know?
Art by Bael
Bael is an artist from the North East of the UK, whose work translates an often haunting, yet beautiful visualisation of the human form. After solo shows and group exhibitions across the UK and Europe, his work has found its own place and has a dedicated, international following. @bael_art
Gabriela Gonzales writes about the beautiful tragedy of human communication. She appreciates giraffes, the Oxford comma, and hipster babies. Find her work in The Belmont Literary Journal and Awakened Voices Literary Magazine, and her forthcoming poetry in Waxing and Waning. Follow her on Twitter: @gabrielag2597 and her website: gabrielagonzales.com.